Step On My Leg! Or, How I Went to Cabo and Discovered the True Meaning of Customer Service!
by Dan Taylor

Part 3: Can't They Do Something for Me Today?
For all its beauty (resting side-by-side with lots of poverty), Cabo is not without its drawbacks. In fact, within two days of our arrival we've adopted a new tourism motto: "Cabo - It Won't Grow on You, It Festers on You."

Simply walking through the marina each day has a desensitizing effect that takes root surprisingly fast. At first you politely thank the many street vendors, pan-handlers and timeshare hustlers looking to give you the bargain of the century.

By day two you are polite, but a tad more brusque. By the third day you are ignoring even the most pathetic pleas/pitches with a wave of the hand reminiscent of that which got French nobility decapitated in the 18th century!

What makes the begging most pathetic is the use of children as the pitchmen. While their parents sit checking the time on their Rolexes, kids run up to you offering tiny boxes of Chicklets in exchange for whatever change might be rattling in your shorts.

More amusing are the charter boat salesmen, all of whom want to do something for me tomorrow. Can they take me fishing tomorrow? Do I want to go sightseeing tomorrow? "Glass bottom boat... take a picture of the arches. You have a nice camera. They're waiting for you."

Dude, they're arches. They're waiting for everybody. They've been waiting for thousands and thousands of years. But thanks for asking!

You Can Keep Your KFC!
With the wedding not scheduled until late in the afternoon on Monday, we decide to spend the morning and early afternoon wandering around the streets of Cabo. Once you get past the marina area, Cabo takes a decidedly different turn. Gone are the palatial resorts and yachts with landing pads for helicopters.

Taking their place are things intended to make visiting gringos feel more at home... Kentucky Fried Chicken restaurants, shops where you can buy t-shirts emblazoned with double entendres and half-naked women, and convenience shops where you can purchase much-needed water and local variants on familiar products like cappucino-flavored Trident gum.

Determined not to give in to stereotypes and eat at a fast food joint, we keep walking the dusty streets, searching for someplace to eat while the hot sun bakes us to a crisp.

With the heat and hunger teaming up to make me edgy and unbearable, Chris points to a palm-roofed hole in the wall named Taqueiera el Vanida (or something along those lines) and suggests we eat there. At this point, my Cabo eating adventures have consisted of the gourmet meal at Mi Casa and some snacks and breakfast at Captain Tony's in the marina. Several steps removed from both of those establishments, this place appears to be overflowing with invisible warning signs. Appealing to my adventurous side, Chris insists it'll be fine and we enter through, well, there isn't so much a door as there is an opening in the building.

A bar runs the length of one wall while plastic chairs and tables take up any and all available floor space. Nobody speaks much English, the bathrooms are out the back of the restaurant across a courtyard, and a motorcycle sits nearby. It is in this setting that I will have what is the best meal I will have all year, and probably one of the ten best meals I will have during my entire life.

To call the food awesome is to sell it short, but it's the only word I can think of as I scribble in my notebook as we leave. The simple meal starts with a plate of homemade nachos accompanied by six types of salsas and dips. The best is overflowing with roasted red peppers that have a subtle, smoky flavor. Bowls of what can only be described as Hot Dog Soup arrive next, filled with a clear broth, simple seasonings and slices of a sausage that isn't far from being a hot dog but is nothing like a hot dog.

The meal is capped by a trio of tacos that arrive wrapped in homemade tortillas. An incredible beef taco is filled with chunks of grilled carne asada. Despite being the equal of anything I had the night before, the beef taco pales in comparison to the fish taco (I know, I was dubious at first, too) filled with highly-seasoned fish that has been pan-fried until it has literally fallen apart. A pork taco finishes off the lunch; spicy and hot with a hunt of something like nutmeg, it's the best of the bunch. Accompanied by a plate of sliced red onion and shredded cabbage (which doesn't wilt in the heat like lettuce), I could eat a hundred of these. And, since our entire meal – with beverages – costs a whopping $7.50, I actually could afford to!

to part 4...