It's always sorta sad when a tv star gets into trouble with John Law. Granted, the idea of Dan (Different Strokes) Plato showering with the other inmates and being subjected to the infrequent cavity search at the hands of a buxom warden does give me a warm, fuzzy feeling. But the recent run-ins featuring two Gilligan's Island stars got me a little misty.

Sure, you can imagine Bob Denver sittin' around in that dopey hat smokin' some reefer. But Mary Ann? The fresh-faced farmgirl of so many afternoon fantasies?! I'm shocked...and more than just a little turned on!

Seems like Gilligan was writing some very large checks to Mary Ann, which has the officers investigating Gilligan a little curious.

I went back and browsed through Mary Ann's Gilligan's Island Cookbook (Rutledge Hill Press, 1993) to see if I could glean any info on this troubling trend. All I came up with was the following recipe, which I might be making the next time Mrs. Nitrate is away on business. I'm guessing it'd take a day or two for the smell to dissipate.

1 1/2 lbs. liver, sliced
3/4 cup all-purpose flour
1 1/2 tsps. salt
1/4 tsp. pepper
2 tbsp. oil
2 med. onions, sliced
1 green pepper, cut into strips
1 tomato, cut in wedges
1 1/2 cups water
1 tsp. instant beef broth
Chopped parsley

Coat the liver with flour and seasonings. In a skillet heat the oil and saute the liver for 4 minutes on each side.

Meanwhile, in a separate skillet heat a small amount of oil and saute the onions and green pepper for 10 minutes or until soft. Stir in the tomato, and saute for 2 more minutes. Arrange the onions, pepper, and tomato on top of the liver. Add the water and instant beef broth to the pan and simmer the mixture, scraping the browned bits loose from the bottom of the pan. Pour the liquid over the liver, and sprinkle with chopped parsley.

Makes 4 servings.